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Feb 13, 2010 16:34:46 GMT -5
Post by natalie on Feb 13, 2010 16:34:46 GMT -5
Great action scene, I can hardly wait for the update!!
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Feb 14, 2010 1:59:40 GMT -5
Post by whisperer on Feb 14, 2010 1:59:40 GMT -5
I stirred up a storm of leaves while kicking around the path. It was longer than I thought, and I was getting a bit bored of walking. Thankfully, the scenery was more than enough to keep me cosmetically occupied. As weird as it might sound, I felt more home here than at my actual home. Back there, I felt confined by the dullness of the walls that limited where I was able to go. Out here, I was more able to be free. Not to mention that I was by myself, without Chad and his gang to toss me around.
I always preferred it out here. The space, the air, and the atmosphere all seemed to speak my language. And it was a calm one, a one that soothed and breathed a new air into me, no matter how many times I'd tasted it before. I swear, my bruises even felt better. As if to reconcile my thoughts, a quick gust of wind rustled the treetops above me, and created a small spiral on the path ahead. I grinned at the coincidence, but immediately put it away as the tornado-like effect of the gust spun a pile of leaves away.
On my right, the pile that had been blown away caused an avalanche effect on an even larger pile behind it, the first one acting as a removed keystone. The action of all the leaves spilling in front of me caused me to jump a little.
Shut up, I was startled. It's not funny, and I'm not "afraid at the drop of a leaf". A few thousand, yeah.
I took a tentative step forward and paused a bit to see if that was the end of it. It was. I tipped over to the site of the fall, and surveyed the scene.
I looked past the opening that was made and was surprised to see another path, this one not being as twisted as the one I was on. As a matter of fact, this one seemed to be entirely straight, for as far as I could see. I bit my bottom lip, wondering if I should see what it leads to, or keep in the direction I was in. The wind answered for me, as I felt a breeze against my back and blowing my hair forward. "Alright," I chuckled, "you win."
In all honesty, I was being uncharacteristically optimistic. I'd never known about this path before, and the thought of coming across something new in a place I thought I knew excited me. On both sides of me were some of the thickest sections of the Dularow Woods I'd ever seen; I could hardly see twenty feet past where the path was. Above me, the tops of the trees blocked a good portion of the sunlight and made it darker than the other path. The trees had a notable texture - despite not touching them, I could tell they were much smoother than the average tree. The path itself was very clear. Aside from the relatively - to the first path - few leaves and other wood debris, it almost seemed as if someone had swept it up. Looking forward, I realized my pace must have been quicker than I thought, as the path was just about to end. I could tell it opened up into something, but I couldn't quite see what that was from here.
After walking by for a few more minutes, I reached the opening at the end of the path. Standing right there, was a stone pedestal. I moved in closer to the oddity, getting a closer look at it. The most peculiar thing about it was how simple it was. Bare of any markings, symbols, patterns, or even lovers' initials etched into it. It wasn't even marred by erosion, the T-shaped figure was simply simple. I walked past, and looked into the clearing. It was a spacious figure eight, empty of anything except for a titanic tree in the dead center of it all. The rest was all bright green grass, reaching out to the ends of the clearing before ending directly in front of the same smooth trees that surrounded the path.
I'll be the first to admit that it was a bit eerie. Sure, nature's done weirder things that were nothing but coincidence, but they didn't have the... feel of this place. I stared up at the massive centered tree. The trunk itself was as wide, if not wider, than I was tall. It stretched up, branchlessly for what looked like at least seventy feet, before erupting into a complex mesh of branches, twisting and winding themselves together far above my head, and only at the end of these were the leaves, all green despite the season. While my neck was craned at the angle necessary to see this high, it started to sore, only reminding me that I hurt all over. I also noticed that the sky was darker than I thought it'd be. Exhaustion and the night both crept up on me while my mind was focusing on the scenery.
I stepped into the clearing, but was surprised to find that there was a slight dip into it, as if the whole thing were one big depression. I refocused my stride and walked closer to the tree. As menacing as it may have seemed, its strange branch formation would cover me well, in case any rain broke out. As soon as I reached a respectable distance from it, I bent to my left and let the duffel bag slide its way down my shoulder, and onto the ground. I followed its direction, dropping to my knees so I could reach it. I undid the zipper, and rummaged around a bit before realizing something incredibly stupid. I forgot a sleeping bag. My first reaction was to let out a groan, followed by thoughts of what I would do. Make a tent using sticks and clothing? That's not going to happen, since I don't have a clue about how to do that. After that realization, a loud yawn escaped my mouth, making me take notice to the fact that I had nothing to sleep on, yet I would likely fall asleep at any moment. I fell backwards into a sitting position and planted my hands onto the grass. The second I touched it, I noticed that it was unnaturally soft. Or maybe not. I was tired.
I leaned back further and lied down in the grass. It felt better to me than any sleeping bag I could have brought along, possibly even better than my bed. There were no irregularities, not even a rock or two to make me uncomfortable. My eyes closed themselves in a peaceful manner while a sigh came from deep within my chest. I was relaxed. Which is a big deal for me. I took in a deep whiff of the cool night air, the smells of the woods and all welcomed me into lucidity. I soon forgot all about my belongings, and let the tire take me as I drifted off into sleep.
Unconsciousness is the greatest, most under appreciated gift available. It's an amazing thing to not know the problems of the waking world.
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So, so close.
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Feb 14, 2010 2:20:35 GMT -5
Post by natalie on Feb 14, 2010 2:20:35 GMT -5
I really like the descriptive details, you use, and how you write the main character, It makes me feel like I am in the woods, too!! I like how you get the readers inside the character's head. I also like the cliff hanger!! Wonderful job!! I enjoyed it!!
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Feb 14, 2010 12:53:23 GMT -5
Post by Amayasama on Feb 14, 2010 12:53:23 GMT -5
D: Ohhh I hope no animals go after him, he doesn't even have a fire or anything to warn them off!
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Feb 14, 2010 18:26:41 GMT -5
Post by ycsdramagurl on Feb 14, 2010 18:26:41 GMT -5
Can I just say that I am completely obsessed with this story? I love how you actually put feeling into you're stories...I don't know a lot of people who can do that...not to say that people on here can't write or anything! Most people on here are great writers...I talk too much -_-; Can't wait for the next update!
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Feb 14, 2010 23:07:56 GMT -5
Post by natalie on Feb 14, 2010 23:07:56 GMT -5
I totally agree with ycsdramagurl, I'm obessed with this story, also!! I can hardly wait for the update, also
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Feb 15, 2010 22:50:34 GMT -5
Post by whisperer on Feb 15, 2010 22:50:34 GMT -5
You people are incredible! Thanks so much for all the great comments - especially considering how nervous I was about posting this!
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I was in the center of the clearing. The tree was gone, vanished. For whatever reason, I was panicking. Something's not quite right. The trees! The trees that surrounded the place were all missing. It was just the grass, in its figure eight shape followed by emptiness. Nothing, nothing at all. Was it burnt? Cut down? Overnight? No, no, it was still night. At least it looked like night. The sky was blackened in the area I was in, but seemed to brighten further in front of me.
Just then, the ground shook with enough force that I was sure it'd register on a seismograph. I was knocked onto my back, and as soon as I collected myself, there was a lighter one - an aftershock? I don't know, I've never been in an earthquake before. As soon as I finished that thought, I noticed the shade of black seemed to move, as if the sun were rising. I turned my head to see if my assumption was correct, only to be met by the most terrifying sight of my life.
It was a massive form, of preposterous degrees. It loomed directly over me, and seemed to be bent over, as if it were a living thing watching, hunting, preying me. I didn't even notice that my body was being overtaken, wracked by shivers and tremors brought on by a deep fear of whatever this thing was. I apprehensively shifted myself from being pinned against the ground, as if it were done by invisible hands.
The second I sat up, the thing I thought to be an object inched closer to me. It was alive. I immediately went back to my position of having my back against the floor, eyes widened in alarm. What is this thing? Its form almost - no, exactly - looked human. After giving its body a look-over, I slowly drew my eyes to what, if my belief that it had a human figure was correct, would be its head.
I gasped when I was met by amethyst orbs in the place I thought the eyes would be. The figures slowly smoothed into smaller oval shapes, then vanished. They then repeated the motion, but backwards. It blinked. I have to say, gazing into eyes only a bit smaller than you has a real humbling effect. I sank deeper into the earth, hoping it would swallow me whole and take me away from this being before it had a chance to. No such luck. My fears showed themselves as I saw the creature lift an arm. It then glided towards my direction.
"Oh, God no!" I cried. I quickly scrambled to my feet, only to topple due to the stiffness of my still healing legs. I couldn't move. I rolled onto my back to once again look at the monster. It was still reaching for me, and it was only getting closer. I panicked and started shuffling backwards using my arms, not even noticing the fact that my chest was rising and falling quickly in hyperventilation. The movement wasn't nearly quick enough to escape the descending hand, and its fingers all were placed on the ground surrounding me, blocking any and all ways of escape. They then slowly closed themselves, dragging across the grass. In the most agonizing five seconds of my life, all fingers touched my body at once: one of the top of my head, both arms, and both legs. I felt a deep shiver burst down my spine.
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He's gonna need something better than a fire.
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Feb 15, 2010 23:27:43 GMT -5
Post by whisperer on Feb 15, 2010 23:27:43 GMT -5
Here's another update, since there's been enough cliffhangers in a row.
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I woke up with a shout, sitting up immediately after awaking. My heart threatened to beat its way out of its cage. I inspected the area, and found everything in place. It was a dream. Oh, man, it was lucid. I clutched my hand to my chest, in an attempt to slow down my heartbeat. My head ached with worry over myself. What was that dream all about? I've never had anything like that before, and it worried me. It was starkly realistic, and the feeling of dread was worse than anything I've felt while awake. But what didn't seem this way were the amethyst eyes. It was if they spoke, and they whispered words of gentle and softness. But the size screamed broken bones and hurt. I sat there, dazed and confused about what I woke up from.
After a moment, I started to get a bubbling feeling in the pits of my stomach. I couldn't explain it, but I felt that something horrible was going to happen. My ears perked up, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I stiffened. And then it happened. I heard a loud, piercing crack from the tree. My head snapped towards it only to see nothing.
I started to relax, thinking it was just my imagination. But something still seemed off. I looked closer, and noticed a weak green beam of light shone itself from the tree's trunk. As I squinted at the intensity of the luminary, a blue beam joined it. Followed by yellow. Red. Orange. Purple. Every color I could imagine burst itself from the trunk, before all coming together into one broad shine of amethyst. I couldn't even form a thought before it all abruptly ended, and faded away. "Uhhh..." I slurred out, before being cut off by a shattering sound, and tree bark just missing my head. After a few more seconds, I let out a sigh, believing it to be over. It was.
I slowly stood up, and crept over to my bag. I pulled out my knife, and brought it close to me. Sure, I might seem a little paranoid, but I'm not going to be the first person killed by a radioactive squirrel.
I then went over to the tree, trying to still keep some distance, in case anything starts up again. It dazzled me that, after what appeared to be colorful lightning, there were no burns, no splinters, or mars of any kind. But, in the trunk, there was a clean cut into it, a perfect circle missing. It still shone slightly, visual reverberates from the light show. Which reminds me; the news tried to cover this up as a "laser light show" done by some teenagers! As much as I wanted to be upset at how the newscasters were lying to the community, I had more pressing things to focus on.
The shine coming from the hole was diminishing. I was an arm's length away from it when I decided to stop walking. I wanted at least that much space to duck if it decides to blow up or something. I waited for a bit, trying my best to see into the hole left from the lights. After another moment, the bright whiteness finally softened, and completely vanished. Ironically enough, the loss of that light left the area dark once again, not allowing me to see very far ahead of me. I focused my eyes once again to try and get a look into it.
It was then that the sun rose from wherever it spent its time hiding, and peaked into the clearing. The orangesque morning light spilled over the trees, and illuminated the area. I smiled at nature's uncanny ability to be with me in all the situations I'd needed it in the past few days. I turned my head back calmly to see what had been left in the hole, if anything. But as soon as I saw it, my neck snapped into position facing directly into the depression. The knife slipped from my hand, and fell to the ground. I went completely slack-jawed, and stared in amazement at what I saw. It couldn't be.
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Radioactive squirrel has got to be the best part so far. EDIT: Just added something small. Nothing major.
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Feb 16, 2010 0:00:35 GMT -5
Post by ycsdramagurl on Feb 16, 2010 0:00:35 GMT -5
Pffft...radioactive squirrels XD Great update, even though you're making me feel lazy for not updating my story ^^; Can't wait to read more ^_^
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Feb 16, 2010 0:17:08 GMT -5
Post by natalie on Feb 16, 2010 0:17:08 GMT -5
Yeah, I like the radio active squirrel bit!! :> I also like the description of the dream sequence!! This is one of my favorite stories, I like it that your not rushing it. Awesome job!! I can hardly wait to read what happens!!
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Feb 16, 2010 16:43:06 GMT -5
Post by Amayasama on Feb 16, 2010 16:43:06 GMT -5
XD He sees the squirrel!! *flails* Though I have to admit his dream would be scary x.x Can't wait for more though dear :3 Have to say I'm excited for more GT scenes
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Feb 16, 2010 21:26:40 GMT -5
Post by natalie on Feb 16, 2010 21:26:40 GMT -5
XD He sees the squirrel!! *flails* Though I have to admit his dream would be scary x.x Can't wait for more though dear :3 Have to say I'm excited for more GT scenes I agree, I'm e cited for more GT scenes,also !! :> Yahoo!!
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Feb 16, 2010 21:26:47 GMT -5
Post by Neon on Feb 16, 2010 21:26:47 GMT -5
Oh goodness so many updates since last I saw it. OwO Love. I bet it's a radioactive squirrel ... with a rainbow tail. :B
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Feb 16, 2010 23:15:54 GMT -5
Post by whisperer on Feb 16, 2010 23:15:54 GMT -5
Well, the story is already finished. I'm just editing bits and pieces while I update. Kinda cheating, huh?
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But it was. Inside the hole sat a palm-sized humanoid creature. At least, that's what it looked like. The most peculiar thing about it being how familiar it seemed. I examined it a bit closer, while trying not to be too invading. And then I saw it - the color of its eyes. They were an unnatural shade of violet. Amethyst. The whole time during my scrutinizing, the creature remained unmoving, and the look on its face showed no emotion. Was it even real? Answering my thoughts, it then blinked. I drew back a bit to be more respectful of its personal space. And then I realized it. It was naked.
I quickly put my arm over my eyes and spoke out "Oh, jeez!" with a blush forming on my face. But before I could fully cover my eyes, I noticed something peculiar - and I use that term lightly, while describing a tiny little person. She had no belly button. Then again, I wasn't all too sure on how she was born, so it might be commonplace for her... species. Well, at least I could tell it was female. "Sorry!" I began, "Do you need any clothes?" Okay, dumb question. She obviously did, and I had nothing to give her. But still, I waited for her answer. ... And waited. Then it hit me - how could I expect this thing to talk? Sure, she looked human enough, but she clearly wasn't. Well... it is still cold out, and she might appreciate something.
I awkwardly turned my back to the diminutive person, uncovered my eyes, and headed towards my duffel bag. I unzipped it, and began ruffling the contents about, muttering to myself. "There's gotta be something in her she could use... Would this work?" I questioned no one as I pulled out a sock. Yes, it might be a bit degrading, but there really wasn't much else I could do. I turned back to the tree, and bashfully looked back into the hole. I was met by the sight of the little girl holding her arm in front of her eyes. She was copying me! She then uncovered her eyes, and stared back at me, her face still being a blank sheet. I closed my mouth as if I'd been told to shut up. "Uh, do you want this?" I asked tentatively while holding up the sock. She briefly glanced at it, before reverting her gaze to me. She then held up her arm in a motion that looked like she was displaying something. "Ohhh, boy." I sighed. "How am I going to do this?"
"Alright, I'm... I'm going to pick you up. Do you mind?" Even though I knew she wouldn't answer, it still felt right to ask. As predicted, she sat there, unmoved by what I said. Figuring this to be the only way, I slowly reached for her. She made no attempt to run away, or even seem worried. Of course, she didn't look all too thrilled either. I stopped my hand inches away from her, and started to wonder what I was doing. I've just met this... person, and I was going to pick her up? While she was naked, for that matter? I shook my head free of my doubts. Sure, any other person wouldn't exactly appreciate being picked up by something twelve times their size, but she didn't seem to mind. Or do much else, for that matter. What I didn't notice, however, was that she once again mimicked my actions. She reached her own hand forward, connecting it with my palm. Her minute limb in the base of mine sent a strange, almost tingling sensation though my arm. I looked towards her eyes with a curious look, a look that I was surprised to see returned. And as the look on my face matched my emotion of surprise, as did hers. She was learning.
I slowly reached my fingers around her frame, being as gentle as I possibly could. The very last thing I wanted was to hurt her. I looked only at her face throughout the process, because I couldn't take my eyes off hers, and to be respectful of her position. Once I lifted her up, she took on her confused face from before. Personally, I was amazed. She had managed not only to learn how to contort her face in a specific way, but what situation would be correct to use it in. In an odd one. "Oh, uh, no, it's alright. Don't worry." I said in as soothing of a tone my nervousness could manage. She looked convinced, as her face relaxed into its normal stoicism. I retracted my hand out of the trunk and into the open. She then had a look of surprise as the air chilled her. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" I repeated gingerly as I slipped her into the sock. She must've felt warm again, as her face once again returned to blankness.
With her body now being covered up, I couldn't help but take a look at her. Her face was a a mature one, something that caught me off-balance. As a matter of fact, I'd guess that she was in her teenage years, if she were a human. But, is she a human? I mean, she had everything a normal human did. Not including the height and belly button thing, of course. But her face was exactly spot-on for a human. Her two amethyst eyes were the only thing unnatural about it. Aside from that, she had a small nose, curved ever so slightly. And she had two ears, two lips, a chin, and everything else that I'd expect to be there. The shape of her head was what an art teacher of mine would have called "heart-shaped", and her face itself was a pleasant one. If it weren't for the situation, I'd say she was attractive. Throughout my scrutinizing, she didn't change her face a bit. But that didn't stop me from realizing how rude my staring must have been. I pulled my head back.
"Okay... now what?" I asked. She only returned with a look of curiosity. "Well, I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Aiden." Her expression didn't change, but the more I thought about it, the more I became curious myself. If she learned facial recognition so quickly, how long would it take her to learn a word? I then pointed at my chest and repeated "Aiden." This time, she seemed to slightly understand the concept of what I was trying to get across as she pointed to her own chest, but continued to remain silent. She was probably just used to considering my voice white noise. "Aiden." I said once more. She stayed quiet, but I could swear she was listening more intently, however her face wasn't showing it. One last time, I said again, "Aiden?" And for one last time, I was met by nothing. "Well, that was probably too much to ask f-" "Aiden?"
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Not quite a radioactive squirrel. Something about this part seems a bit off to me.
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Feb 16, 2010 23:58:28 GMT -5
Post by natalie on Feb 16, 2010 23:58:28 GMT -5
Maybe the tiny person is a robot but it looks like a tiny human? Really great scene, Escpecially like the part were he picks her up. Awesom!!
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Feb 17, 2010 16:42:50 GMT -5
Post by Amayasama on Feb 17, 2010 16:42:50 GMT -5
^0^ OHHH! XD She's adorable! ;D Aiden you dog, you've met a girl! x3 <3333
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Feb 17, 2010 20:19:00 GMT -5
Post by Neon on Feb 17, 2010 20:19:00 GMT -5
Silly girl, out in the cold with nothing but her birthday suit. I'm of course wondering what she is and why she seems to unreactive. O.o
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Feb 17, 2010 23:35:28 GMT -5
Post by whisperer on Feb 17, 2010 23:35:28 GMT -5
Maybe she is a robot. Or a very well disguised radioactive squirrel.
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"You got it!" I said with a laugh. At hearing my own name come from such a tiny voice, I couldn't help but smile. And yet another time, my face was mimed by the diminutive girl. Her cheeks parted into what was a small, but recognizable smile. This caused me to smile further, followed by her smiling further. I then thought of a test. From what I could tell, she was learning progressively quicker according to what she was taught. And I wanted to test that theory.
Looking at the girl, a switched my face to one of disgust. Her face immediately contorted to a similar one. I looked horrified. She then did as well. I lightly blew on her, making her hair fall backwards in the breeze. Instead of blowing back, as I thought she would, she looked surprised. "Aiden?" she asked. "I think you just outsmarted me," I began, cut off by the realization that she didn't have a name. "Hmm. You need a name." "A name?" she replied. "Yeah." I wasn't as surprised that she learned some new words. After all, I was getting used to her rapid learning habit. But it did seem that she payed most attention to the last words of sentences. "How do you feel about Rayne?" She replied with a disgusted look. "Alright, I'll take that as a no. Holly?" She looked mortified. "Fair enough. Zela?" I half-joked, as it was more of a made-up word than anything else. She smiled. "Really? Zela?" She then pointed to herself, and simply responded, "Zela." with a smile.
I looked at her with a little chuckle. She connected her name to the action of pointing at herself. I didn't even know if she'd been alive before I met her, and she already knew limited communication. Which made me question: how exactly did she come into existence? It had to do with the lights from before. But was she already in the tree's trunk? Or did they cut into the tree, and place her there? At any rate, she wasn't answering these questions any time soon. My main concern for the moment was where I would go from here.
"So... what should I do with you?" "Hmm." "Leave you here?" She took a look around the area, before reconnecting her gaze with mine. "No." I weighed our options a bit. "Uh, take you home?" "Hmm?" "Alright... My home is kinda like that hole," I responding with a point towards the hole, "But it's bigger." Of course, I didn't take the time to explain furniture. She gave a blank stare for a bit, processing what I said. "So, what do you say?" "Yeah." "Really?" "Yeah."
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Her dialogue gets progressively more and more annoying to write, since I had to keep going back and re-reading, to see if she'd heard the word or not >_O
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Feb 18, 2010 0:15:01 GMT -5
Post by natalie on Feb 18, 2010 0:15:01 GMT -5
Another great update!! I like the radioactive squirrel bit you put at the top, LOL!!
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Feb 18, 2010 15:46:03 GMT -5
Post by Amayasama on Feb 18, 2010 15:46:03 GMT -5
XD Haha aw don't worry dear, you're doing well ^^ I have to agree with Neon, she could be a robot but personally I think she's a dyrad ;D Wouldn't that be cool? XD *myth freak*
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